Crowbars and Broken Windows
by roseusvortex
Summary: The moments that Daphne is a crowbar wielding, cooking pot wearing, ninja stalker who feels as though her soul will be swallowed up by a black hole of darkness whenever she stares at him.
1. Chapter 1

_Un-betad. Wanted to do this for ages. It will be a short multi-chap. Hope everyone enjoys and this is the first version/first chapter. It's short chronicles that will slowly form into an odd yet romantic plot._

 _Please review? ;)  
_

* * *

It started on a summer morning.

In his house in Ferryport Landing, where he came to visit his brother every few months, it also offered an escape from his mother. Though even if he did live around three miles away from his brother and _that_ family, Mustardseed knew it was in his best interests if he stayed away from the Grimms. His brother was one of the problems, the strange food was another, and... another problem was currently _sitting_ right in front of him with a crowbar in her hands and one of his expensive cooking pots on her head.

He rubbed his forehead and glanced at the clock on his bedside stand.

 _8:03 am_

That was too early for something like this.

He began, slowly and quietly, "What... are you doing?"

The young girl replied, just as slow, "Watching you sleep."

He sighed, "Why?"

"Uh, well, don't know really..." She looked so puzzled that Mustardseed felt a little sorry for her till he remembered that he _locked the front door_ _last night._

Mustardseed stared up at the ceiling, "The crowbar?"

"The door was locked."

"Yes. There was a reason for that!"

The girl scowled, "What's your problem? Windows are easy to replace."

"That is not the problem! You broke into my house. _Again!"_

"So?"

" _Daphne!"_

* * *

And it continued into the later summer months...

Mustardseed would be at the grocery store, browsing the wide variety of products, and reluctantly grabbing a large selection of ramen noodles, because culinary arts weren't his thing. Then there would be a flip of brown hair right beside him and down he would look and...

"Hey Daphne."

She grinned, "Yo! Whatcha lookin' at, my dear Muster?"

Mustardseed made a face at the name and responded tiredly, "Why are you stalking me?"

Daphne gasped, "I'm not! Buying groceries for Granny! Honestly..." She rolled her eyes, "This is a public store, you know."

He glared at her, resisting the urge to dump packages of ramen noodles over her, "You've been following me since I left the house."

"No proof."

"Where's your basket for your 'groceries for Granny', huh?"

"Well. Crud."

* * *

It first started early summer, or at least the first signs of something wrong started when Mustardseed first came to Ferryport Landing. Settling into his house, he went for a surprise visit to the Grimms. The visit went fairly well, Puck was startled, yet pleased to see him, Sabrina had beeen cordial, Granny Relda had given him a hug and Daphne...

She ran from the room as though the dead had risen and was chasing her.

Mustardseed had tried to not let it bother him and it didn't...

Till she broke into his house.

Followed him when he went on errands.

Offered to cook him food.

Daphne Grimm was a stalker.

* * *

"I didn't know you liked bubbles."

Mustardseed jumped so hard that his rubber duck went flying in the air, hit the ceiling and landed on his head. Water splashed over the side of the tub and he burrowed himself in the water as deep as possible to cover himself.

 _"What the hell!"_

He locked bathroom door. He _did._

"Your door locks totally suck, you know."

" _Daphne!"_

* * *

On her fourth visit, Mustardseed grabbed her and pushed her onto the couch, sitting across from her. It was time to figure out exactly what her problem with him was.

Daphne was staring around his house, looking fascinated, "Wow. Nice. I don't usually see much of the house. You know, it's usually late at night when I break in so..."

Mustardseed groaned and asked, "Look. What is your problem?"

She crossed her arms, "I don't have one."

"You break into my house and watch me sleep." He said.

"Snow told me to follow my feelings!" She replied defensively.

That was... unexpected. Did she...? He didn't know anything about girls, nothing, nada. This was... she _was_ pretty. First step, verify.

His voice was soft when he asked the next question, "What... do you feel when you look at me?"

"My heart starts beating fast, like really fast... oh! But mostly like I am going to puke and my entire soul is being swallowed by black hole from the dark side. It's _awful."_

"... _Get out."_

* * *

By the time it was autumn, he had changed the locks ten times, replaced the windows twelve times, and adopted a guard dog named, Brownie. Which was absolutely useless because he was pretty sure that the dog was _helping_ Daphne get into the house.

Mondays were the usual times that the Grimm girl would break in around 9-10 am while he slept. Deciding to use this to his advantage, Mustardseed drew up a quick menu and pinned it to the door, requesting his breakfast for the morning.

If the girl had to stalk him, at least she could do something useful while she was at it.

...

"Why are the eggs blue?"

"Isn't blue your favorite colour?"

" _That isn't the point!"_

* * *

One morning when he woke up, the curtains were drawn, light was shining in the bedroom and Daphne was sitting on the foot of his bed.

"That is really creepy, you know." He said.

Daphne frowned, "Really? I thought it might be romantic."

"That makes it twice as creepy."

She continued, as though he never said anything, "I read this book about this girl who was drawned towards a boy. So, since I am being drawn to you... I wanted to try out all the different things they did!"

Mustardseed yawned and stretched, "Oh? What else have you been doing? Other than breaking my windows, bewitching my dog, and wearing my favorite pot."

"Don't be silly. You never use this pot." She gestured to the cooking pot on her head, that she insisted was her ninja stealth hat.

The difference between now and the past was...

Mustardseed was sitting in his bed, talking to a stalker, who befriends guard dogs, wears cooking pots on her head and wields a crowbar.

And he wasn't _freaking_ out.

It's actually felt a bit nice.

"You don't sparkle in the sunlight, you're not super perfect, or extremely handsome so... I ruled out the vampire theory."

 _Ouch._

"... Leave out the same window you came in."

"Eh?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Un-betad. Sorry about any errors I missed. Please point them out if you spot them. :) Thank you for your lovely reviews on the last chapter! Please review. Keeps me writing. ;)_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

People have a sixth sense, some people are aware of it and others ignore that such a thing exists because that goes under a 'supernatural' catagory, yet it does exist and whether people want to believe it or not, they have it.

Mustardseed has it and knows it.

So when he left the nice warm house, that he resides in to go for an early morning jog, where the clouds were grey and gloomy, he had a sixth sense sensation.

Maybe he was paranoid.

Taking one last longing look towards his house that seemed _so_ inviting, he started off at a comfortable jogging pace.

And the feeling continued...

 _Click_

Mustardseed stopped.

 _Click. Click._

That was the sound of a camera. He tried not to pull his hair in frustation, because _she was back._

"Daphne?"

 _Silence._

Two could play at that game. Mustardseed drew in a deep breathe and barked out, "Marco!"

A yelp came from the bushes to his left, "Polo!"

...

"Damn."

"You _are_ a stalker."

"Oh hush. The technical term is _detective._ Taking pictures of you wearing tight shirts is part of my investigation."

"Investigation?"

The bushes rustled, "Yes, I am conducting an investigation on you!"

"On what grounds?"

"The grounds of 'none of your beeswax'"

" _Daphne!"_

* * *

Waking up to the lovely smell of bacon and eggs was something Mustardseed really did enjoy about Daphne's visits. One gets tired of ramen noodles for every meal. Though the food didn't make up about what he didn't like about her.

One, she was annoying and noisy. Two, she watched him while he slept. Three, damages his house. Four, befriends his guard dog. Five, insults him and stalks him.

Number four was just a slap to the face, the dog guarded Daphne more than it guarded him. It growled at his feet if he even went to touch her shoulder.

He wanted to call it 'Dipper' and Daphne wanted to call him 'Brownie'.

Guess who the dog listened to.

 _Ugh. Brownie...  
_

* * *

"Do you have maple syrup?"

Mustardseed stopped eating and stared at the brown-haired girl who was poking through his pantry. "Yeah, in the fridge."

Daphne sent him a look of disbelief, "You put maple syrup in the fridge?"

He looked back, rather perplexed, "That's where it goes?"

"No!" She protested, "It goes in the pantry!"

"Fridge."

"Pantry!"

"But now it's cold. " She complained.

"I like it cold."

"You are a weird person."

Mustardseed glared at the broken glass that littered his floor and the wind gently blowed in from the broken window, sending a chill down his spine. "I don't want to hear that from you."

"Oh, you adore me, really."

"Pretty sure I just deal with you because Sabrina would murder me if I called the police on you."

"It's good to have connections, huh?" She sent him a wink.

He shoved down the last piece of eggs from his plate and handed his plate to her with a smirk, "Absolutely. Now do the dishes."

* * *

"Mustardseed. Am I pretty?"

Her brown hair was tangled up in a messy pile, held back by a clip. Skinny jeans, baggy sweater and hands on hips with a look that told him he didn't _dare_ answer wrong.

His heart started beating twice as fast because, really, he didn't have to even _lie._

Sincerely, he answered, "You look beautiful."

Daphen blinked. Her cheeks reddened and her hands fell to her sides limply. Mustardseed wondered if he said something wrong, she wasn't looking at him anymore.

She spoke up, deadpan, "You look like a fish."

 _"Who asked you!"_

* * *

The sound of glass shattering had Mustardseed bolting up in his bed, looking around wildly for an object to defend himself with. Then he remembered the Grimm girl and fell back with a relieved sigh.

A few seconds later, it turned into an irritated sigh.

There went another window.

"Morning!"

He looked over to his doorway and gaped.

Daphne was decked out in toilet paper, wrapped up like an Egyptian mummy, wrapping all the way from her legs to her head.

"What happened?"

"I'm a ninja!" Her voice was muffled, by the layers of toilet paper.

"Ninja's don't wear toilet paper."

"Low-budget ninjas do."

* * *

Late in the afternoon, Daphne ran into his house while he was drinking a glass of water and dropped a bombshell on him.

...

I'm going a date!"

Mustardseed dropped his glass of water, hit the back of the kitchen counter and slipped on random banana peel laying on the ground.

Needless to say, he was shocked.

Also covered in water and embarrased.

Daphne thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop snickering for ten minutes before continuing with her news. "He is really cute. And! It's tonight!"

"Why are you telling me?"

Mustardseed's stomach was twisting uncomfortable and he felt tense.

Daphne rolled her eyes, "You are my friend, silly."

You break into my house daily, tell me you have feelings for me, cook me food, and stalk me on a regular basis. Then you call me a friend and go on a date with someone else? Mustardseed decided that the reasoning was based on his thoughts alone so he better keep his mouth shut. Besides... she looked happy.

He shrugged, "Have fun."

Daphne looked rather disappointed at his reply, "M'kay... I will."

He looked away and awkward silence filled the room till Daphne quietly left him alone, standing in his kitchen.

Jealousy was an awful thing.

* * *

"Why did you dump orange juice over yourself?"

Daphne grinned at him through strands of dripping brown hair, "Would you like to know?"

"No." He answered promptly. "It was a rhetorical question." He handed her a towel, "Your shirt is soaked."

"Get me one of yours."

He scowled, "Don't order me around."

He ended up going up to his room and getting her one of his t-shirts anyway. To make himself feel better, he grumbled like an grumpy old man the whole way there and back. Because he also such a mature teenager, he threw it at her rather than handing it to her.

"You are paying for that orange juice, you know."

"Jerk." She stuck her tongue out at him, "Turn around."

Doing as she said, he focused on looking at the microwave, till she had finished putting on his shirt and he took her shirt to wash with his laundry.

...

"Daphne. Stop sniffing my shirt."

"Just trying to figure out what detergent you use."

"That's creepy."

"It smells _nice_."

" _Don't wink at me when you say that._ _That is so creepy!"_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Not my best chapter, but I hope you guys find amusement with it. :) Thank you for all of the reviews so far! Feel free to request situations you would like Mustardseed/Daphne.**_

 _ **The chapters... they will get better... I promise. haha.**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

* * *

Mustardseed poked the rather _colorful_ assortment of food on his plate which was suppose to be his dinner. It didn't look like dinner. It looked like a someone took a rainbow and chopped it up, put it in the blender, added spice and called it dinner.

He poked it again with his fork.

"No playing with your food." Daphne admonished, before she began to gobble up her own portion of grub.

Mustardseed opened his mouth to protest but decided that it was just not worth it, instead he asked, "What are you doing?"

"Eating." She replied shortly, eyeing his untouched plate, "Something I can see you are unfamiliar with."

"Only when the food is unfamiliar to _me._ " He retorted.

"Oh pleeease. You lived in New York. You probably had all sorts of strange foods."

"I lived _under_ New York."

She shrugged, "So? You ate snails and earthworms too. Your point?"

"I did not!"

* * *

"Oooooh!" Daphne squealed and glanced at him, "Can we get him?!"

Mustardseed ran his fingers through hair, glancing at the sparkly unicorn stuffed toy...and the price tag. He made a face. Who came up with these prices anyway, no, who came up with sparkly unicorn toys. Everyone with a brain knew unicorns didn't sparkle.

"No. I find it scientifically incorrect and that disturbs me."

"Your face disturbs me!"

He threw up his hands, "This is part where you flatter me till I buy you the damn toy!"

"Oh! Mustardseed, you are absolutely amazing and so handsome. Not to mention smart, brillant, and, uh... you have the most amazing house ever! Also you have so much money so you should buy me this toy!"

"Are you really this dense?"

"...uh, so... Am I getting the to-"

"No."

"Dammit!"

* * *

The third time Daphne broke his window, Mustardseed firmly told her that she was going to personally fix it. He didn't care if she used magic or called someone to do it. It was going to be fixed and she was going to do it.

Daphen argued that it was his house and he should fix it.

He argued that it was her crowbar and she should fix it.

She admitted that it was Sabrina's crowbar and maybe her sister should fix it.

It took several blackmail attempts and after he threatened to cancel his Netflix account is when she relented at went to go fix it.

Mustardseed was very much relieved because he _really_ liked Netflix.

It was only till he went to check on her progress that...

" _Why are you using ducktape?"_

She rolled her eyes at him, pausing in the middle of ducktaping every piece of glass together with several wood boards. "Ducktape holds the universe together. Duh." Her eyes narrowed and held up the triangle glass pane she made, then looked towards the _square_ window, "Wait. Something isn't right here..."

"Many things- where did you get the wood from?"

She didn't even look up from trying to jam the triangle glass in the square space, "I used the crowbar and took apart your bedroom wall."

"You _what?"_

"Like you were using the wall. Who uses walls anyway." Daphne stepped back and looked at the new window with a critical eye, "Huh. Looks good."

" _You're fixing my wall too."_

"Eh?! But it was Sabrina's crowbar that did it!"

Mustardseed facepalmed. They never got anywhere with any of their conversations.

* * *

They were almost living together. He didn't know how Daphne got so much free time to break into his house or to fix his meals, and he didn't know how Daphne was escaping the eagle eye of her older sister. If Sabrina knew that every morning he woke with Daphne sitting in the same bed as him... well, he was pretty sure that she would murder him. Painfully. With that crowbar that Daphne used all the time.

They went grocery shopping together.

He would go shopping and Daphne would be right alongside him.

They would run together.

He would run in the morning and she would hide in the bushes and watch him.

...

"Whatcha' thinking about?"

"You."

"Aww. What about me?"

"You're a creep."

"Yep. So are you."

" _What the hell do I do?!"_

* * *

"Why are you investigating me?"

"Because you did a crime."

"What crime?"

"Can't tell you."

"When did I do it?"

"...Can't tell you."

"Who are the witnesses?"

"Only one."

"Who?"

"Can't tell you."

"What can you tell me?!"

 _Silence._

"Fine. You stole something."

"I didn't steal anything!"

"You did..."

Daphne lowered her camera and laid it on the ground. She sighed and grabbed the ends of her sweater and twisted them in her hands.

It was only a whisper and she glared at the ground.

"You stole... _my heart._ "

There.

Mustardseed frowned, "I didn't catch that."

She stared at him, "What..."

"No. Really. You whispered. What did you say?"

Daphne gaped at him and he wondered if she had said something important.

"I said..." She paused, "you look dumb in your pyjamas!"

Mustardseed stared at her. That wasn't what he thought he heard before, wait- "My mom bought these pyjamas!"

"So?"

" _My mom!"_

"Did they use to be her pyjamas?"

" _No!"_

* * *

After one of their many fights, Mustardseed found himself in front of a familiar stand, in a familiar shop. The things he would go through to make Daphne talk to him again after a fight. He held back a grimace after the clerk smirked at him.

Then he got the heck out of there.

He wasn't even going to wrap it, it was going to be sitting on the kitchen counter for Daphne when she came in the morning.

He glanced in the bag and groaned. This should be the gossip in the town within the next week if that clerk opened his stupid mouth. Mustardseed could just see the gossip magazines titles.

 **Fairy Prince Buys Sparkly Unicorn.**

 _ **Is his empty house so lonely that this prince resorts to scientifically incorrect unicorns for company?!  
**_

 **READ TO FIND OUT  
**

Oh, the things he did for Daphne.


	4. Chapter 4

**Not my best, but I'm slowly getting back into this. Sorry for grammar errors. :p Writings a bit rusty.**

 **Please review~ It helps me update faster and I'll make sure to add in a cute Daph/Musty scene in the next chap if you do. ;)  
**

 **Feel free to request any scenes you want in this fic. ;)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

For the millionth time since his move into Ferryport Landing, Daphne was sitting on his bed. Again. With a crowbar. She also had blue freckles, but he had wings so he wasn't going to judge.

Mustardseed sighed, "Daph, we talked about this."

They had finally been reduced to calling each other by nicknames. One does that with stalkers that watch you sleep. It saves you from the awkward moments of staring at each other.

"About what, Musty?"

He grimaced, "I said you could enter my house, provided that you pay for the damages..."

Daphne was nodding along, "Yes, provided that _Puck_ pays for the damages..."

He ignored that, "But... we talked about watching me sleep."

"Yes, yes we did."

"We said it was awkward."

"Yes."

"That it was unhealthy for you."

"Yes."

"That you would never do it again."

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"And yes, you are still watching me sleep."

"Yes, yes I am."

Mustardseed rolled back over in bed and covered his head up with sheet. "Alrighty then."

"Wait..." Daphne tugged the sheets, "Aren't you going make breakfast?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"Because you know where the kitchen is!"

"Yes, but you make the bestest pancakes eeeeeeever! You would make a great wife someday!"

That was the day, ladies and gents, that Mustardseed stayed in bed and dismayed about his future as a housewife, because he loved cleaning, doing the dishes, and playing with children.

His pancakes were also pretty damn good.

* * *

Mustardseed shoveled that last bit of pancakes in his mouth and stared at Daphne while she played with Brownie.

This was starting to bug him.

"Daph, why are your freckles blue?"

She gave him a beaming smile that practically blinded him, "Puck!"

He blinked, "What about him?"

"Failed attack on Brina."

Mustardseed nodded. Yes. That made sense. A bit odd, but it made sense.

"Mustardseed, why do your wings sparkle?"

He gave her a beaming smile in return and watched in satisfaction as she blinked, and replied, "Puck!"

She echoed, "What about him?"

"Failed attack on Brina."

She gaped, "No way! Me too!"

Mustardseed sighed. Sarcasm never worked anymore.

* * *

Washing dishes was a peaceful time for Mustardseed, but now, more than ever, his peaceful time was often broken. The sound of glass breaking behind him didn't even make flinch.

"Welcome, Daph."

Daphne sounded disappointed, "You don't even scream anymore. This is so sad."

"Oh?"

"I am so going to make you scream in fear tomorrow!"

Mustardseed didn't even turn around. Nothing could surprise him anymore.

...

" _Daphne! What the hell?!"_

Daphne pointed and cackled at where he collapsed on the ground. "You should've seen your face!"

"It was scary!"

"Pleeeeease. It was not! All I did was walk in."

"Yes, you walked it. _Through the front door like a normal person."_

"Next time..." Daphne had a wicked glint in her eyes. "I'll use the doorbell."

"Don't you _dare."_

* * *

"I love food." Daphne mumbled with her mouth full while Mustardseed stared on in disgust.

"You eat like a pig."

"You eat like a prince."

"I am one."

"You eat like a fairy prince then."

"That's close enough."

* * *

During the afternoon, after Mustardseed went for a walk, thankfully alone, he came back to his house to find the front window busted and shattered. He made a mental note to add it to Daphne's bill before entering his house. Upon the first look inside his living room, he decided that he didn't _really_ need that couch anymore. Not covered in ketchup anyway.

He turned to the girl who was squirted ketchup on the couch. "What are you doing?"

She froze, "Uh well... there was a bug."

He nodded, 'Okay."

"Then... it got away."

"That would happen when you spray it with ketchup and not bug spray."

"Then the couch was already messy..."

"Uh huh."

"And so I just went with it, you know."

Mustardseed promptly bonked her over the head with a scowl, "I do not know!"

"The couch looks really artistic now."

"No. It looks like someone sprayed it ketchup." He frowned.

"Ketchup makes everything better." Daphne exclaimed and squirted some right in his face.

 _Drip... drip._

"Okay... maybe not everything... you still look _dumb."_

" _Daphne!"_

* * *

Mustardseed found himself shocked when walking into his kitchen. For once, Daphne wasn't vandalizing his kitchen and two, she was doing homework.

He leaned over, "What are you studying?"

"Japanese. " Daphne mumbled.

"...Why?"

"Because I can."

"I can also report you to the police, but I don't." Mustardseed grumbled.

"Because my sister would kill you."

"Yes, yes."

"Puck would disown you."

"...That was the other way around and already done."

"Banishment isn't the same as being disowned. That's like saying that people only wear hats when the sun is out."

Mustardseed didn't feel like that made any sense, but he didn't say anything because the poor girl was doing homework and that was enough to drive any one insane.

"So Japanese?"

"Just Hiragana."

"Why?"

"So I can read Japanese and still not understand it."

Daphne was acting more insane that usually, ah, wait...

"Were you doing math before this?"

Daphne looked up at him in surprise. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"...the insane levels were off the charts."

* * *

If someone told him that Daphne was pretty, he would call them liar then punch them.

Daphne wasn't pretty.

She was really beautiful.

...

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you broke into my house and that's weird."

She retorted, "You have wings that sparkle."

"You are never going to let that go, are you?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Should I start putting titles at the beginning of the seperated parts? I'll be trying that out in the next chapter and if it works out, I'll edit the last two chapters.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy this! Un-beta-ed. :p Sorry for the errors.**

 **Review pleeeeeeease?**

* * *

Let it be said that Mustardseed hated to be caught in awkward situations. Especially if it involved his brother. Honestly, after thinking about it, any situation with Puck was bound to get awkward sooner or later.

This was a bit much though, Mustardseed thought to himself as he shifted from foot to foot, trying to block his brother from entering his house.

Puck tried to sidestep, "What's the deal? I come to visit you and this is the welcome I get?"

Mustardseed blocked him again and retorted, "When you don't warn me? Yes."

"Why can't I come in?!"

Because your future sister-in-law is currently doing her homework in my kitchen and being a general nuisance. If you find out that I wake up every morning with her staring at me, I think you will kill me. "Because it's dirty."

"We are brothers. I'm the King of Garbage and Rotten Apples. Like I care."

Mustardseed cleared his throat loudly, "Puck!"

Maybe Daphne could escape through the broken kitchen window before Puck tackled him to enter the house.

Puck stared at him, "What? No need to shout."

"Oh, Musty, _darling~"_

Mustardseed wanted to laugh at the utterly taken aback expression on his brother's face, because for once, someone was more shocked than he was. Also... _ugh Daphne._

He could play along, Mustardseed could only hope that Daphne would stay out of sight.

"One minute...uh, honey..."

Her shrill voice called out again, "Who is it?"

"Uh... salesman."

Puck looked offended and Mustardseed rolled his eyes. "Just go."

He hissed at him, "You have a girlfriend and you didn't tell me?!"

Daphne wasn't his girlfriend. Not that he wouldn't like her to be...but that was a different story. It couldn't hurt to go with it... "Yes."

Puck whined, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"You didn't tell me when you and Sabrina started dating!"

"That was different... I was busy... and stuff."

"Yeah, well...so am I."

Puck threw his hands in the air, "With what? You don't go to school, no job, and you have this big house! What are you busy with?"

"Repairing it."

"It's a new house."

"My girlfriend has a crowbar."

"..."

"..."

"...What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

For the second time since they had met, Mustardseed gently grabbed Daphne's arm and dragged her to the couch.

"We need to talk."

Daphne grabbed his arm in panic. "Are we breaking up?"

"We weren't ever together."

"That's even worse!"

"Shut up."

...

Mustardseed paced in front of the couch where Daphne sat, watching him carefully. Due to a Brownie mishap, which meant the bloody beast had tackled him, in what he called an attack and Daphne called; 'tackle of love'. Basically it meant all conversations had been canceled yesterday.

"As I said yesterday, we need to talk."

"About puppies?"

"No."

"World domination?"

"No."

"Philosophy?"

"No."

"Ninjas?"

"No."

"Ah..." Daphne nodded, "Finally coming out of the closet, eh?"

Mustardseed took the nearest pillow, threw it, and listened in satisfaction at her muffled screech of surprise.

"No!"

...

"As I was saying, fifteen minutes earlier, we need to talk."

Daphne opened her mouth and Mustardseed promptly stuffed a towel in it.

"Jdkandaj"

She gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"..."

Mustardseed sighed. Why was she so adorable sometimes. He took the towel out. "Don't say anything funny. Don't make fun. I'm going to say somethimg important here."

For once, Daphne straightened up and looked serious, "M'kay, what is it?"

"..."

"..."

"...I can't remember."

"Oh, come on."

* * *

"Your house is huge."

Mustardseed frowned at the green eggs that Daphne had cooked up for him. He poked it with his fork slowly. "Thanks."

"It's like... you're a mini Bruce Wayne."

"Hmm."

"Do you like bats?"

Mustardseed scraped his fork across the top of the egg. "Not especially."

Did he really have to eat this?

"Why do your wings sparkle? Does that affect your whole prince image?"

No, he didn't have to eat it. Mustardseed threw the green egg at Daphne's face.

" So...You don't like eggs?"

" _Daphne!"_

* * *

"Oi, Daph... where is my blue shirt?"

She called back to him from the kitchen, "No idea."

Mustardseed narrowed his eyes, pausing from tearing apart his dresser, "Are you sure?"

"...yes."

"It wouldn't be in your closet, would it?"

"...no."

"That's my favorite shirt, you know..."

" _Oh, I know..._ hehehehe"

Mustardseed opened his mouth then closed it, and shook his head. Some battles he just didn't want to know about,

* * *

Mustardseed woke up to the sound of his phone ringing in his ear. Needless to say, he shot straight out of bed in surprise and Daphne fell off of the bed with a shout.

"Morning, Daph."

She groaned from the floor, "Morning...ow, my head."

Without even glancing at the caller ID, he answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey, bro."

Why was Puck calling him at... Mustardseed took a glance at the clock... nine o'clock? He laid back down with a groan. "What?"

"I want to meet your girlfriend."

Mustardseed shot straight out of the bed for the second time and Daphne managed to tackle him back down before she fell off the edge. They both landed with an 'oomph' on the bouncy bed.

He tried to ignore the fact she was laying ontop of him. He really did. "Why?"

"Because I want to know who is dating my little brother! Why else?"

"Um..."

Daphne had manage to crawl off of him and sat herself down amongst the ruffled covers, muttering darkly about stupid fairy boys.

He motioned to her to be quiet or else.

"So I can meet her tonight, right? Is she cute?"

She was pouting at him so he responded by instinct.

"Yes."

"Awesome."

"Wait...no...I-"

"I'll call you later for the details. Sabrina wants to go on a double date, 'kay? Bye!"

Mustardseed stared at his phone in horror. He didn't have a girlfriend. He had a stalker and one doesn't take stalkers to double-dates with their sister and brother and sister-in-law and...ugh. Mustardseed laid his head in his hands. What a headache.

"So...salesman?"

"Shut up, darling."

"Whatever, honey."


	6. Chapter 6

**I bring you... an update! Un-betaed, so sorry. Gonna be some errors. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! :D**

 **Someone asked how old they are...? I've kept it up to the readers imagination, honestly. But I think Daphne would be from 17-18-ish and would probably just be ending school. (I wonder who she will ask to prom... ;)) Mustardseed would be a few years older. :)**

* * *

Mustardseed paced in front of his couch, biting his lip in thought and just generally displeased at how his life was going at this current time. You, readers, must be wondering, what are on earth had gotten him in such a tizzy?

Dinner. Tonight. Daphne. Puck.

Biggest problem that could happen at the moment? His brother finding out that his sister-in-law was practically living with him.

What was bound to happen within the next few hours? His brother finding out that his sister-in-law was practically living with him.

Well _crud._

He absently ducked his head as a fidget spinner flew over him and collided with his brick fireplace with a loud _clack._ He didn't even glance behind him. "Why did you do that, Daph?"

"It wasn't fidgety enough!" Daphne conplained, leaning back on the couch, stretching while she picked up another fidget spinner from the filled box besides her.

"Hmm." Mustardseed frowned, just now noticing the box on the floor, "Where did you get those?"

"I bought them."

"Why?"

"So I can find the _coolest_ one."

He sighed, "That's a waste of money, you know." Mustardseed resumed his pacing after picking up the thrown fidget spinner.

"No, it wasn't" Daphne sounded rather smug. He watched her with a wary look, "Why?"

"Because it was your credit card."

This time it was Daphne who ducked as a fidget spinner flew over her head.

* * *

"What do you tell them? Where you are?"

"Oh, I just tell them that I'm staying with Red."

"... won't they find out?"

"Nope!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not staying with Red. "

"...your logic is flawed."

"Your brain is flawed."

"Oi."

"Nah, seriously, though. Red won't tell. She's my bestie."

"That makes her sound like a suit-jacket."

"Don't be silly. My suit-jacket isn't red."

"Why do you even have a suit-jacket?!"

* * *

Daphne hummed in thought as she leaned against the kitchen counter, effectively blocking Mustardseed from making his lunch. "You know, you're gonna have to buy me a dress."

Mustardseed paused from the act of pouring a glass of milk. "Why?"

"Because we are going to dinner with Puck and Brina, " Her voice was chiding, "What do you expect me to wear? Jeans?"

"...yes," He replied shortly, dumping his glass of milk over Daphne's head. While listening to her squeals in protest, he was only thinking one thing.

 _Because it doesn't matter. You'll look good in anything._

* * *

"Where are we meeting them, though?"

Mustardseed shrugged while ripping a newspaper in half and grabbing the ducktape on the counter. "No idea, they will tell me. Apparently it was delayed because Puck forgot they were going to visit your parents in New York."

"Ah... I forgot that too."

"Mhmm..."

"I was supposed to go too. Oh well."

"What?!"

"It doesn't matter." Daphne stood in a fighting pose, "I'll visit them next week. I have stuff like fighting to do."

"Fight who?"

Daphne frowned, "Well, mostly you."

"Daph..."

"Fine! I'll fight this wall then." She turned towards the wall with narrowed eyes, "Come on! I dare you." With a feral yell, she kicked the wall with a loud _riiiiiiiip_.

Mustardseed stared at his last hours work on the damaged wall, where he had carefully taped newspaper after newspaper over the gaping hole that Daphne had left that morning. It was torn and broken from Daphne's kick, which he had to admit was impressive from someone shorter than him.

"Oops."

He sighed. "Nevermind." Mustardseed collapsed on his back to stare at the ceiling.

...

"Oi."

"Yes, Musty?"

"What happened to the ceiling?"

"I was trying to insert a fire pole."

"Daph, please buy yourself a house."

"Only if you come live with me."

* * *

"Wait, how did you make that hole in the wall anyway?"

Daphne glanced at her nails, "Amazing what a crowbar can do, huh?"

"No. It isn't."

"Says the person who tried to seal it up with newspaper and ducktape. Laaaaaaame."

"Says the person who tried to karate kick a wall!"

* * *

Over breakfast of blue eggs and purple bacon, Mustardseed was trying to ignore that when combined they made a rather neon yellow mash that did not look good.

Daphne plopped down across from him with her own plate and started to gobble it down, "So mfustyceed, wha shool dis you ga to?"

"Pardon?"

She swallowed, "What school did you go to?"

"A special one for my position." He eyed the plant on the kitchen window with a sudden idea.

"You mean a princess school?"

He flicked a bacon at her. "No!"

"So... a fairy school?"

Mustardseed made a face, "Accurate, but it doesn't sound much better." He got up with his plate and headed over to the plant.

"Huh, so, what did they teach?"

"How to throw out annoying stalkers from our homes. Some nice painful ways too."

"You fairies have everything, don't you." Daphne nodded, looking impressed.

Mustardseed didn't even bother correcting her, instead chosing to push his yellow mash of multicolour breakfast in the potted plant. "What did they teach at your school, Daphne?"

"Proper plant care."

Mustardseed gave her a dry look.

She nodded at the plant, "No, seriously."

Mustardseed paled as he turned and saw the plant had already started to limp over and wilt. The plant was dying.

"They don't like eggs, you see."

"What kind of plant doesn't like eggs?!"

Daphne gave him an odd look, "You know a plant that _does_ like eggs?"

For once, Mustardseed was rather lost for an answer. Which was odd for him because lately, a lot of weird things had been happening. But he also didn't know of a plant that liked eggs.

Wait.

Why was he thinking of this?

He held his face in his hands in despair.

Daphne said, curiously, "Did I finally break you?"

"...no, I don't think so."

"Better luck next time, I guess."


End file.
